How Writers Can Quit the Creative Comparison Game
Photo by Rahabi Khan on Unsplash
Creative comparison often gets a bad rap. Like self-doubt, comparison can be a lens through which writers can identify the strengths and weaknesses in their work, ultimately helping them improve the quality of their skills and stories with intention.
But without the right attitude in place, ego and insecurity can blind writers to the insights that comparison can provide, warping constructive comparison into a dangerously destructive act.
In this situation, the fears and self-limiting beliefs that comparison can trigger lead to damaging behaviors that further weaken a writer’s fragile self-image. If you’ve ever avoided the blank page because you feel like you’ll never measure up, then you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Fortunately, it’s within every writer’s power to quit the dangerous creative comparison game.
What steps do you need to take? In this excerpt from Build Your Best Writing Life, I talk at length about the importance of tackling the self-limiting beliefs that hold us back from living joyous and fulfilling writing lives — an act that’s key to reframing unhealthy comparison.
But today, I’d like to address the specific misconceptions that warp how writers view their work by highlighting the hard truths we must accept to quit destructive comparison once and for all.
Truth #1: Writing is not a competition
Are you often frustrated or saddened by other writers’ successes? Do you view published books as competition you need to beat in online rankings? Have you ever felt compelled to finish your story before another writer could conjure up the same great idea?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then, to some degree, you see writing as a competition and fellow authors as opponents you need to beat.
This dangerous viewpoint is born out of a fixed mindset, a term that describes the misconception that success and abundance are limited resources for which everyone must compete. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
A fixed mindset thrives on ego. It craves external validation from gatekeepers, as well as awards and accolades, and its haunting fear of failure prompts many creatives to engage in unhealthy work habits that frequently lead to burnout.
Does this sound familiar, writer? The truth of the matter is that writing is not a competition. Nor is publishing or commercial success.
The world contains billions of readers. Even discounting those for whom your books won’t be a good fit, there are hundreds of thousands of people who will love the unique brand of stories you write — and those readers will voraciously devour all of the books available to them, including your own.
Truth #2: Excellence is an earned skill
As fulfilling as it might be, creative work is rarely easy. Yet there’s a pernicious belief that talented artists never find it difficult to write. Instead, their genius paves the way, driving them into a mad flurry of creation that always results in a perfectly polished masterpiece.
It’s a ridiculous misconception. Yet for writers who’ve internalized this belief, it’s all too easy to feel like they’ll never measure up. Surely the fact that they find writing difficult means that they’re not really a writer, right?
The reality is that no one is born with masterful writing and storytelling skills. Some writers may have a greater natural aptitude for creative work than others, but raw talent is far from indicative of excellence or success.
All writers must hone their skills, and plenty of people waste their talent. At the end of the day, it’s passion and persistence that produce incredible work. Sure, talent might be a bootstrap, but excellence is an earned skill.
So if you’re energized by the idea of writing fiction, then don’t balk in the face of difficult creative work. That’s the very work that will help you become the writer you long to be.
Truth #3: Success never comes without struggle
When you’re knee-deep in the muck of creative work, it’s easy to envy big-name authors and overnight successes who seem to have it all. But success never comes without struggle.
While luck does play a role in critical and commercial success, no writer ever achieves great heights without a bucketload of toil. Six-figure book deals, film adaptations, and international book tours are the highlight reel of an author’s career — not the full scope of their experiences.
The truth of the matter is that hard work and difficulty is a prerequisite for creative accomplishment and success. So the next time you envy the pedestal, remember the long, hard climb to the top.
Truth #4: Acclaim won't make you a “real” writer
Many writers crave critical and commercial success for the validation they believe it can provide. Without impressive accomplishments or the approval of industry gatekeepers, they struggle to see themselves as “real” writers — and that struggle can lead to a whole world of fear and envy.
But all the literary acclaim in the world can’t make you a "real" writer. Critical and commercial success are simply byproducts of the moment when hard work and opportunity collide. They have nothing to do with creative self-worth.
The simple truth is that you become a real writer the moment you put pen to paper, and by embracing your identity as someone who finds joy in the act of writing, you begin to develop the self-assurance you need to transform envious thought patterns into powerful learning tools.
So, how can you overcome unhealthy creative comparison?
Understanding and accepting the hard truths we discussed above can help you reframe comparison in a healthier light. But if you truly want to kick creative envy to the curb, then intention is key.
By taking active steps to develop a greater awareness of your self-limiting thoughts and beliefs, you can begin to cultivate a healthier creative mindset that will help you approach your creative work with the self-assurance we mentioned a moment ago.
But before we dive in, it’s important to reiterate that comparison can be a constructive practice.
It’s unrealistic to expect that you’ll never experience envy again. You’re human. You’re going to have negative thoughts and emotions, and that’s okay. The point of this exercise isn’t to ditch comparison outright but to learn how to actively reframe envy as an opportunity for growth.
With that in mind, let’s take a look at how you can cultivate a healthier approach to comparison:
Step #1: Sit with your envy
You can't reframe negative thought patterns that you repress. That’s why the first step to overcoming unhealthy comparison is to develop an awareness of your envious thoughts.
The next time you compare yourself to another writer, don’t shove the thought away. Sit with it. Acknowledge that you’re feeling jealous, and try to observe your jealousy with curiosity rather than shame. Begin to recognize that you are not the thoughts and emotions that you experience and that it’s within your power to control how you react when they arise.
Step #2: Explore the root of comparison
After developing a greater awareness of the creative envy you experience, it’s time to delve a bit deeper by considering what triggered your envy and why.
Are you jealous of the author who just won a major literary award because you struggle with feelings of deep inadequacy? Do you feel bitter when reading about debut authors because you’ve been querying for years without success?
Don’t be afraid to take this process slowly. Introspective work can be painful, and it’s okay to circle the drain a bit as you accustom yourself to exploring difficult internal questions and deep-rooted limiting beliefs.
If you’re struggling to get to the root of your envy, then you may find it helpful to externalize this process. Consider journaling or talking with a trusted friend as a form of exploration.
No matter your approach, remember to be kind to yourself. You’re doing the difficult internal work it takes to revolutionize unhealthy thought patterns. That’s demanding work. So be gentle with yourself, writer. You deserve it.
Step #3: Practice affirmations
Fears and self-limiting beliefs lie at the root of all unhealthy thought patterns. Once you’re aware of your own fears and beliefs, one of the simplest ways you can begin to transform them is by practicing affirmations.
This doesn’t have to be a spiritual practice. An affirmation is simply a personal pep talk, a phrase you use to boost your mood or reinforce a desired mindset. If you've ever told yourself "I've got this!" when you were feeling nervous or uncertain, then you've practiced an affirmation.
The affirmations you’ll use to reframe unhealthy comparison will be unique to the fears and limiting beliefs at the root of your envy. With your personal situation in mind, consider affirmations such as:
I write. Therefore, I am a writer.
I am capable of completing difficult creative work.
I am as good a writer as I work toward being.
Creative success is freely available to me.
I am worthy of making a living as an author.
Practicing these affirmations may feel strange at first, or even false. But there’s truth in the idea of faking it until you make it. The more you embody a belief, the more you’ll integrate that belief into your mindset. That’s why affirmations are such a powerful tool for personal development.
Step #4: Exercise your agency
As you explore the fears and self-limiting beliefs that dwell at the root of your unhealthy thought patterns, you’ll uncover powerful insights that you can apply to your creative work. Don’t hesitate to put these lessons into practice.
Recognize that you are in control of your habits and beliefs. You can choose how you respond to negative thoughts and emotions, and you can redefine how you view creative validation and success. Make a point of exercising your ability to reject ego and reframe comparison as a constructive experience.
You don’t need to overhaul your mindset overnight. Focus on what you can do here and now to change your future, and (comparison be damned) you will become the writer you want to be.
Is there a gap between where you are and where you’d like to be in your writing life?
Learn to harness simple techniques that can help you win your inner creative battles, finish projects you can be proud to share with the world, and work with focus to turn your writing dreams into reality.
